The Ten Commandments

As the Lawyers have written them

1)      Identifying as the Lord thy God, the party of the first part, having fulfilled the obligation of freeing thee, party of the second part, from the land of Egypt, known forth as the house of bondage.  As remuneration, part of the second part agrees to forgo other gods before party of the first part.

2)      Party of the second part agrees not to use in vain the name and/or likeness of the party of the first part.

3)      Party of the second part agrees not to make unto thee any graven image or likeness, in whole or in part, of any item located in heaven or hell, and agrees not to bow down to such

4)      Party of the second part agrees to wholly recognize and remember the day of the Sabbath

5)      So that the days are long for the party of the second part, they agree to honor and/or respect their respective parents.

6)      Party of the second part agrees to refrain from committing any act of murder, homicide, or manslaughter against any other member of the action.

7)      Each party agrees to engage in coital relations solely with their selected and wed partner.

8)      Each party agrees herewith, to obtain only properties and chattel of their own accord

9)      Each party agrees to iterate only truthful, lawful statements in regards to neighbors

10)  Each party agrees not to covet the personal property, relations, spouse, and any other chattel of other parties deemed to be neighbors.